Destination Life

Steve Jobs was a great many things, a life philosopher, is probably not something you consider one of them. However, his quote resonates with an ideology that is rapidly gaining traction, especially following a couple of pandemic laden, anxiety inducing years.

You see Steve Jobs highlights something that is so painstakingly obvious, but ignored by practically everyone. I suspect you read the above quote and didn’t answer firmly and confidently with a yes…But why is that? And why are we okay with that?

Are we caught in a realm of life deferral? Doing work we don’t particularly enjoy to save for assets we don’t particularly need so that our family and friends can look at us as success stories… “oh, they’ve done so well for themselves” they’ll say.

Have we? Are we really taking the right path for our life? Our enjoyment? Our satisfaction? Or are we just conforming to a societal expectation and chasing assets that we think we want, but when we purchase only give us marginal satisfaction for a finite period of time.

Why are we so socially conditioned to define success by the size of our salary and the value of our assets? Earning $500k per year, but working 90 hours per week isn’t necessarily success. This is because time is our most valuable asset, time cannot be bought and once invested it can never be retrieved. We trade our time for money, for relationships, for friendships and for experiences. Are you trading your time for the right things?

There are 168 hours in 1 week

We typically sleep 7 hours per day leaving us with 119 hours

Working 90 hours per week leaves us with exactly 29 hours

Subtract 3 hours of chores/life admin from this leaving you with 26 hours

26 hours per week of life or 15.5% of our total weekly hours. Surely this can’t be defined as success.

Our social conditioning however has lead us to believe that 15.5% life is sufficient, because financially we will be comfortable and we can retire earlier and do all of the things we could have done if we were less financially well off and more time rich.

It is true, work hard and save now and you’ll be in your 60s and financially comfortable. No more work! You can take up those hobbies you missed out on, maybe travel a little, take a nice cruise, drink tea, eat scones and reminisce about “the best years of your life”. Those years you worked 40+ hours a week in a job you dislike for average pay, neglected your friendships, put hobbies on the backburner and went on small holidays for a brief respite from the daily grind.

So why does everyone insist on following the same path of less life more money? Comfort and social conformity is the answer, our parents say we should settle down, find a partner, buy a house, save for retirement….Our friends and friends of friends may be doing just that. It’s the seal of social approval that you have made it. So we believe that is exactly what we should be doing too, but we don’t really take time to sit down and ask why. Is it even what we want?

I’m not sure its for me. I believe it stems primarily from my resistance to the word settle. Settle to me implies accepting something less, something sub-par or average usually because it’s the only thing that is available (or at least perceived available). It’s comfortable to settle, yet I can confidently say over the course of my life so far that my biggest learnings and most memorable moments were born on the outside of my comfort zone. If I had settled back then, I wouldn’t be sitting here today having seen, done and learnt as much.

Our social conditioning also leads us to believe that changing paths or setting up a business and going our own way is extremely risky, but is it? I am firm believer that there is very little in life that is irreversible, if you want to pursue a passion whether that is a career change or starting your own business then do it (and hopefully use this website to help you). To reiterate time is finite, but actions are reversible. If you give it a go and don’t enjoy it as much as you thought then dive back into what you were doing previously having gained a much needed perspective.

Starting our own business also comes with a number of socially conditioned misconceptions too. We define it as a big risk, but something that if you get right will make you millions and you are only really running a “successful business” if you are turning millions. On the contrary that is far from the truth, if you made a small business in a field you are passionate about and it turns over enough to keep you in a lifestyle you are happy with then you are without doubt a big success. If you can get to the stage were you can remove yourself from that business and enjoy a passive income stream and significantly more time then you will be the envy of everyone (including me). At that point you will have solved the life equation, enough to live comfortably and the time to enjoy it.

That all being said, a life deferral mindset isn’t necessarily a bad thing and dependent on the stage you are at in your life it may actually be the best path for you, but if not maybe consider giving life a little bit of a chase. Doing something today that you are unhappy with for the promise of a comfortable retirement makes little sense. Settling will never help you feel fulfilled whether that be a career path, a relationship, a salary or a living condition. Settling will always lead to “what if” questions and eventual disillusion. So aim high, use your finite time wisely and live a life the way you wish rather than the way you “should”.

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